Redefining Success
I was raised as a kid in typical American culture where “success” was defined as 1st place trophies in little league, straight As, high scores, and perfect attendance in school.
It’s no shock that I entered the corporate world chasing big job titles (aka trophies), high salaries (aka high scores / straight As) and worked long hours (aka perfect attendance) to feel successful.
That’s the culture most of us were raised in.
When I was 24, I landed my first corporate Finance Manager role at a Fortune 50 company, feeling very successful for myself. The VP overseeing that role was Alan.
Alan was about 20 years my senior and terrified most people. He was serious, didn’t smile often, and was a wicked smart accountant. In financial review meetings, he would call on me as “Ms. Goode” (emphasis on the Miiiizzz) without making eye contact with me.
Truly terrifying.
Ironically, Alan slowly became a subtle father-figure who always kept one eye on my well-being, like a parent that always has one eye on their kid as a busy playground.
Alan was the one who approved my reduced work schedule when I had our first baby.
Alan was the one person who saw me cry at the office when I hit burnout 2 years later.
I imagine Alan was the one who spoke up for me in closed-door performance review calibrations when I had to rebuild my corporate reputation after hitting rock bottom.
For lack of a better term, Alan was my “work Dad”.
A few years back, Alan retired from the company, well after I had already left, and I asked him for a virtual coffee chat to wish him well and thank him for all he’d done for me.
As we sat on our respective couches, stretching across the U.S., Alan told me about his retirement plans - learning guitar, hiking, visiting his grown kids. It sounded amazing, and I told him he deserved it all.
Then I told Alan about everything going on with me. The kids were growing and doing well. We moved to a slower pace of life and loved it. I started this small accounting firm where I worked enough, but got to be there for the kids when they got out of school!
“Congrats on your success,” Alan said.
Taken aback with his use of the word success, I responded, “I don’t know if I’m successful, but I’m happy.”
“That’s what I mean,” said Alan.
And that’s when it happened. That’s when Alan shook my definition of success.
What if happiness was actually a version of success?
What if we were able to turn off the measuring sticks of job title, salary, and hours worked as measuring sticks in our lives?
What would we build in our lives to feel “successful” then?
Maybe, for some of us, success would look a lot like a solo accounting firm, working our defined hours, and being physically and mentally available for the people in our lives. Maybe it would look like $80K take-home and a 10-hr work week. Maybe it would look like a handful of clients and baking a batch of cookies at 3pm on a random Tuesday. Maybe it would look like no work on Fridays because that’s the day you run errands and volunteer at your church / library / food pantry / kid’s school.
It turns out…success, Alan tells me, can look like a lot of different things.
Erica
PS - That’s all a true story and something I really believe in, but it also sounds like a really cheesy lead-in to Aligned launching tomorrow. But based on who’s telling me they’re excited to join tomorrow, I do think it’s going to be a space filled with people like us, redefining what success looks like in our lives. I’m pretty excited to see who shows up.
I’ll send more info and the sign-up links first thing tomorrow. If that’s where you are in your life/career, I hope to see you there :o)